


Lost in the Memories

by mythicdork



Series: Jack and Gabe's Trials [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Post-Fall of Overwatch, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 13:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14671887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicdork/pseuds/mythicdork
Summary: In a stream of consciousness style, Jack post-fall thinks about how his entire life changed in a single moment and he blames himself for it all.





	Lost in the Memories

It is hard to accept that one second of a life can truly and irrevocably change everything in a person’s world. To Jack, before it happened to him at all, he thought human stubbornness made everyone have a slow ability to change.

People can change, Jack was sure, but it was never so _quick_. He thought those moments of sudden change was fake, he thought people were just saying it to get out of things, or to make people believe their change as miraculous.

Even becoming a super soldier wasn’t a sudden and quick process which was

_(highly disappointing to the kid who looked up to Captain America for the better part of his life and suddenly faced the chance to be everything his hero was)_

a hard to pill to swallow on the nights that Jack was sure he would die from the sickness that was easily forgotten in superhero fiction as if to idealize this _easy_ shift.

Yet, Jack could now pin point a single moment where everything down to the fiber of his being shifted in a _second_. That second did happen to be a explosion that ripped him from everything that made up his life. An explosion that was set by his husband who went _rogue_ and thought Jack would be out for that day.

Said husband who for once in both of their military careers wore his ring out in the open as if to _taunt_ Jack. Said husband who looked panicked when he saw Jack run out of his office when he heard the yelling begin. Said husband who slammed Jack into the nearest room to tell him to _get out of the building_ as if this building was not the place where they worked every day. Where most of their heroes were housed and kept safe!

Said husband who told Jack that they were out of time.

That this explosion, that _ring_ , this _fight_ was a necessary evil to take down Overwatch.

Overwatch which was the only part of Jack’s life other than said husband who was threatening to take it all down now that so many of them had left.

Was that what it was about? Ana, Genji, _Jesse_. All gone. Did this make Gabe snap?

How _selfish_. Jack sat there and took it. He took everything thrown at him. He took the isolation, the lying, the facades and everyone that he loved being forced out or _vanishing_. All for Gabriel.

No, _no_. He can not let himself think like that, that isn’t helping anyone! Gabriel decided

_(without even thinking to tell Jack)_

So, he obviously thought it was a good one. The _right_ one. But Jack in the moment with Gabriel facing him, ring glinting on the hand that set solidly against Jack’s chest, Jack couldn’t see that.

All he saw was a man that already left him, taking the only thing he had left. So he reacted like a drowning man.

He fought. Jack had never truly fought Gabriel, they sparred, they fought side by side, but Jack never _meant it_.

He never pulled a gun, but he threw himself into Gabriel and wouldn’t let Gabe take the upper hand. He couldn’t. Now thinking on it, Jack could see that every throw was defensive for Gabriel, his face had looked _pained_.

 _Good_ the Jack of the moment purred _he deserves to feel the pain he put me through_.

Flashes of their fight, flashes of a chime on Gabe’s belt, flashes of Gabe cursing and tackling him toward a doorway as the building shook beneath their feet.

Then the quick memories slow down.

Gabriel pulling him into his arms, smoke curling out of his mouth. Gabriel cursing as he apologizes over and over into Jack’s ear, _you’re not supposed to **be** here_. Looking up to Gabriel as it suddenly came to realization of what Gabe’s plan was. The fear of dying. Gabriel lacing their fingers together as they moved together avoid the falling ceiling, but unable to escape the floor.

The last kiss. The taste of ash on his tongue as the world collapsed. _I love you_.

The blissful silence and blackness that opened to the smell of burnt flesh and blood. The look of Gabriel crushed and twisted over him as if he shielded it from it all. Protecting him even as he was the reason they both were still in the hellhole.

Jack having to push his husband’s corpse off him. That ring joining Jack as he crawled his way over the rubble. His leg making it nearly impossible to walk right now. Jack’s own tags left behind. The smell of burnt skin, heavy in his nose, clinging to his skin and clothes. The last thing Jack got to see was the destruction of the two things that were his life.

Jack threw away his visor, chest _heaving_ as he crumbled.

The world was now confused, milky eyes shutting tight on instinct. If his eyes are closed, it is _his choice_. He gags as he tries to take in as much air as possible. He was the reason for it all, god how obvious it was.

Some leader he was, if he was ever truly a leader. It was easier to call it what he was, a puppet. A soldier. A being who followed orders and did what was asked. He made choices, but there was always someone else telling him the right choice. All his life, he never had to make his own choice.

Even now, he is a soldier, just an old soldier chasing ghosts to make something right when he has no chance. He deserves Reaper.

He deserves a ghost to cut him off, to rip through him and blame him for everything he did. No one really did that, often tried to make him feel better. As if he could ever feel better.

In one second, Jack’s world changed. Maybe it hadn’t really changed, maybe a new person had taken up after one died. Jack Morrison, hero to the world, had died. Now all was left is this shambling being.

Was he even alive anymore? He bled, his heart kept time in his chest. So, on all accounts, he was alive.

But was that even what he was anymore? He could only work to try and make up for his failures to Gabriel. To somehow prove to Gabriel, wherever he was, that Jack Morrison was paying his penance to deserve him again.

If that meant chasing ghosts, and fighting until he died, so be it.

After all, he was reborn for war, was he even allowed to stop fighting after he was born for it? He supposed not.

Tears slipped freely down his face, visor clicking back into place. A hand went to the chain around his neck, two rings hung there along with the tags he had so long sense forgotten. One safe, the other a tangled melted mess. Jack and Gabe.

It was all Jack’s fault. He didn’t deserve to mourn, not until he fixed it.

He could hear Ana’s quick feet, the door creaked open as Jack slid on his jacket, the 76 plain as day to Ana. He grips his gun as she speaks, _I heard a sound, what happened_?

_Now he had his orders, and he followed the rules. He was no hero._

_Not anymore._

He presses passed her, tells her they have been here long enough, Talon likely already was on the move.

_In a second, in a breath, his world changed forever._

_There was no going back from it now._

**Author's Note:**

> Remember comments are my life-blood, so even if it is just a single word I would appreciate it! Also if you guys have a prompt for me feel free to put them in the comments or send them to me on twitter or my tumblr (@mythicdork). I am trying to get better at my writing, so please tell me what you think!!


End file.
